Friday, April 29, 2011

Two a day average.

I know my faithful fourteen followers are asking themselves were have I been for the last week.  I've been busy at work, kids soccer games, yard work, and of course best of all, killing gophers.  Since my return from vacation I have averaged two gophers a day.  Lets recap.

Friday April 22

 Saturday April 23
Obviously these are not gophers.  They are ground squirrels that I caught in a live trap.  They were from my neighbors yard and making quite a mess.  You'll be happy to know that I relocated them rather than make squirrel stew out of them. 

Sunday April 24
When I pulled this one out of the ground, he was still alive.  He even tried to bite me!  I had to give him the 'old hit on the head with a shovel' trick to kill him.  My wife said the picture was to graphic.  I replaced the original with this.
Monday April 25

Tuesday April 26

Wednesday April 27

Thursday April 28
Friday April 29

I would like to add that I have climbed into the high 60's with this latest batch of Gopher War victims.  Check out the Gopher Casualty Counter for and exact count.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

1+1+1=Gopher Wars

That's right folks, you read it here first, 1 dead gopher + 1 dead gopher + 1 dead gopher = 3 dead gophers.  I have been having such extraordinary success these last few days, I just don't know what to say about myself other than, "I'm a gopher killing fool." 

I think I've trapped most of the adult gophers in the neighborhood because all of the gophers in the last two days have been juveniles.

  The top one was caught in a Cinch trap and the bottom two were caught using Gopher goners. The Gopher Casualty Counter is on a steady upward climb.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

***Warning Graphic Content***

When I showed these photo's to my wife, she gave the usual, "Eeewww, that's disgusting. Why would anyone want to see those you foul beast."  I don't think of myself as a beast, or foul.  This is why I gave the title I did.   

Both gopher were caught in the same yard.  That makes four gophers in the same yard, in the last two days.  The top one was caught is a Gopher Goner and the bottom one was caught in a Gophinator.

Gopher Wars is in full swing.  To see the latest count, go to the Gopher Casualty Counter.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Back from vacation.

Besides the robotic gopher at Mickey's, I was free from gophers while on vacation.  I came home rested and ready to get gophering again.  Monday night I set traps on three gopher tunnels.  The next day....well, lets take a look.
Got this one in my neighbors yard across the street with a Gophergoner.
This one in my neighbors yard next to me with a Cinch Trap.
And last of all, this little guy in the same neighbors yard with a Sweeney Trap.  It sure feels good to be back in business again.  Vacation is just what I needed.

Be sure to check out the Gopher Casualty Counter.


The night before we left on vacation, a good friend mine called and asked for my assistance.  He had a gopher mound in his back yard and needed help fast (because I was leaving in the morning).  We set this cinch trap and the crafty little bugger back-filled it that night.  The next morning, a few hours before leaving, we re-set the trap.  BLAM!!!! This is what we got. 
What a great start to vacation!  I thought to myself I would be gopher free for a whole week.  Oh how I was wrong!  Look what I found in Mickey's House at Disneyland.
They even taunted me on vacation.  I was told by a worker that if I jumped the barrier and punched the robotic gopher in the face, I would be banned from Disneyland forever.  He may have won this battle, but the war is far from over.

Climb Gopher Casualty Counter climb!!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Three Amigos.

Sunday morning couldn't have gotten any better.  The sun was shinning, my gut was full with a hot meal, and best of all, I had three sprung traps.  As I went to check the traps in my neighbors yard, I was surprised to see one trap moving.  I pulled the gopher and trap out of the hole and did the only sensible thing; I flattened him with a shovel.
This big guy was caught in a Cinch Trap and finish off with the flat side of a shovel.  Not exactly how I wanted it to go; however in gophering it's all about adapting and overcoming. 
This little guy was caught in a Gopher Gonner.  This particular guy had back filled this trap three times.  I told my neighbor that his gophers have higher than average gopher IQ's.  They always seem to back fill my traps.  Persistence pays off, as demonstrated in this session of Gopher Wars.
This was the third chapter in the "Three Amigos" book.  He went down like the other two, in a cinch style trap.  A Gopher Gonner to be exact.  It doesn't get any better than this, unless you add cherry cheese cake and ice cream.
As always, be sure to check the Gopher Casualty Counter.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

A Busy Week...

This week has been busy with yard work, honey-do list, kids soccer, and of course Gopher Wars.  I didn't have time to post everyday, so I'll have to settle with an end of the week highlight reel. 

On Thursday, these two challenged me to a game of Battleship.  I cried out, "My Cinch Trap sunk your battleship."  And then, "My Gophinator  sunk your battleship."  Who said Battleship was a kids game?  

On Friday I was feeling a bit depressed because by the end of the day, I had three back filled traps and no confirmed kills.  I buried my sorrows in a half gallon of ice cream and went to a movie.  I got home just before midnight and found these two.  They were D.R.T.  (Dead Right There).  I slept better that night.  I apologize for the dark pictures; however they were taken at midnight with little lighting.

The first one was in my new Gopher Goner trap.  It looks and acts just like a cinch trap, except with a couple of slight improvements.  The next one was in a Black Box
Saturday was slow, with only one victim of Gopher Wars.  I know he blends in with the background.  If your having trouble seeing him, he's the fuzzy lump below the Black Hole Gopher Trap.

Be sure to check the Gopher Casualty Counter!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Beast!

This beast of a gopher was raging havoc in my neighbors yard across the street.  I think his gophers have above average IQ's for gophers.  All the gophers I have caught in his yard have back filled my gopher traps at least once, as was the case with this fellow.

He happens to be the biggest gopher that I have personally trapped, hence the name, "The Beast."  I placed him in my freezer until I can find a cheep taxidermist and then it's on my fire place mantle for this trophy.  My wife thinks I'm crazy!  I think I'm just dedicated to the cause!
He also need Crest with tarter control.  The Gopher Gitter Gopher Trap worked very well.  Add this one to the Gopher Casualty Counter.    

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Crooked Gopher.

The Gopher Wars wage on in my neighbors yard across the street.  This little guy had dug in deep and wasn't going to go down easy.  He back filled two gopher traps before I finally got him.  I call him The Crooked Gopher, well because he looks crooked in this photo.  My six year old son said I should call him, "The stinken yard killer."  It was a close second; however crooked gopher finally won.
His fate was sealed to a Cinch Gopher Trap.  The Gopher Casualty Counter continues to a steady upward climb!  Happy Gophering! 

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Not photoshopped

Okay, I know what your saying, my wife said it too, "Eewww, that's gross. I can't look at that photo."  Well, rest assured folks, this photo has not been altered in any way.  He was squished like a zit.  I tried to fluff him up and stretch him out to make him look a little less distorted.  It was to late, rigor mortise had set in.    
This is a Gophinator gopher trap from Trapline Products.  If you check your traps regularly, your dead gophers wont have time to turn into twisted cardboard.  Gopher Wars continues!

Don't leave without checking the Gopher Casualty Counter!!! 

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Dumb and dumber!

I've had so much success in my yard that it was time to expand my gophering territory.  So, I finally mustered up enough courage to ask my neighbor across the street if I could trap in his property.  To my amazement, he offered to pay me per gopher pelt.  My first paying customer.  Not going to make me rich.  Just going to fund my habit. 

Today was my first time in the new territory.  Well, straight away, these two dumb-heads walked right into my traps.

This one walked into the Victor Black Hole Gopher Trap.   He saw the light at the end of the black hole trap and then he REALLY saw the light at the end of the tunnel.  Go towards the light little gopher!
This one is another victim of the Cinch Trap.  A very effective tool for gophering!
Happy gophering everyone and until next time, be sure to check out the Gopher Casualty Counter.


Double Vision

I caught these two punks trespassing in a 'No Gopher Zone.'  I taught'em real quick not to come onto my property.  (The correct way to say the last sentence is with a redneck accent.  Now go ahead and try it.)
This one was in my neighbors front yard.  I thought he was heading towards my yard so I got him before he could make it.  Call it a preemptive strike.
This one was in the lower forty of my backyard.  He crossed into hostile territory and paid the price.  Sometimes the weeds just aren't always greener on the other side of the fence, as he found out.

Be sure to check out the Gopher Casualty Counter.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Fat gopher in a small trap

Caught the big fat beast of a gopher (the one on the right) in my neighbors yard less than two hours after setting my new trap.  The trap is my Christmas present to me (in March).  It's a Gopher Gitter trap and did a great job.  The little follow in the photo met his demise to a Cinch Trap.
The Gopher Casualty Counter continues to climb higher and higher up the ladder of success.

Christmas in March.

I recently purchased these gopher traps to add to my weapon cache.  They came on Wednesday afternoon.  I had to work late that night and couldn't open them until almost midnight.  The suspense was killing me.  I ripped the packages open like my kids on Christmas morning.  I got up early and deployed them in my neighbors yard.  Reviews to follow.

This is a Revenge quick set gopher trap.  So far the best thing about this trap is that it's made with recycled material.
These are Gopher Gitter traps, purchased at  The price of the traps includes shipping, which I thought was great!  Again, more in-depth reviews to follow.

Monday, March 28, 2011


After taking care of the 'Three Muske-dead Gophers', I still had a few traps set in my neighbors yard.  To tell you the truth, I wasn't very optimistic about catching anything else that night.  Well, jump forward to 5:00 PM.  I opened my email and saw a wonderful sight.  A picture of a single gopher next to a Black Box gopher trap. 

Memories of a childhood card game instantly flashed into my mind.  I swiftly and forcefully slapped my hand on the desk and cried out, "UNO"!  There was an awkward silence in the office as I felt a dozen eyes looking at me.  I chuckled to myself and said, "That's number 25."
My neighbor took this photo and emailed it to me.  I think it has great artistic value.  I think I'll challenge my wife and children to a game of UNO tonight.

Be sure to check out the Gopher Casualty Counter!    

Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Three Muske-dead Gophers!

This week has been cold and rainy, not the best weather for gophering.  However, my work can not, and must not be halted.  Friday afternoon, as I walked the fence line of my property (scouting the enemy), I saw a fresh mound just three feet outside of my property.  The word must be getting out to other gophers that my land is off limits. 

I decided to take the fight to them.  Gophering knows no bounds.  I marched over to my neighbors and told him the bad news, "I've scared 'em into your yard."  I then told him the good news, "I've got mad gophering skills, plenty of gopher traps, and I work for free."  So together we set out gophering.  We set 2 Cinch traps, a Black Box, a Black Hole, 2 Gophinators, and 2 Sweeney traps.  The results are as follows:

First one was caught in a Cinch trap.
Second one was caught in a Gophinator trap.
And the third Muske-dead Gopher fell victim to a Black Box.
On a side note:  due to recent rain fall, it was difficult to see the fresh mounds.  We made educated guesses as to which were the freshest.  I think we did rather well for a 24 hour period. 

Happy Gophering everyone!!!  Enjoy the weekend.  And as always, be sure to check out the Gopher Casualty Counter.